Pick Up Lines
by ChocolateIsMyDrug
Summary: LJ. James tries out various pick up lines on Lily.


**A/N:** I love LJ even more after Deathly Hallows and everyone swooning over Snape. Still can't stand the guy. Anyway, hope you enjoy this: I found a load of cheesy pick-up lines on the Internet and turned them into LJ-ness.

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**Pick Up Lines**

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_Third year_

J: Lily! Hey Evans, wait up! Lily!

L: What do you want _now_, you insignificant _cow_?

J: Aw, I love you too, Lils! Anyway, listen to this.

L: Spit it out, Potter. I've got things to do, places to be...

J: Okay, okay. (clears throat) Lily, your lips look so lonely. Would they like to meet mine?

L: No, but my fist would.

J: Ow!

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_Fourth year_

J: Hi.

L: I'm reading. Go away.

J: (holds out hand) I was just wondering if you'd hold this for me while I go to Hogsmeade tomorrow.

(pause)

L: That sounded so rehearsed it's not funny.

J: (shrugs) Well, it was worth a try. It's better than what I'm about to attempt.

L: (raises eyebrow) Which would be... what?

J: Grovel.

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_Fifth year_

J: Lily, are you tired?

L: (growls) What does it look like? It is currently two in the morning and I'm attempting to completely a Potions assignment! Of course I'm tired!

J: Well, that wouldn't surprise me, because you've been running through my mind all day.

(pause)

L: Your pick-up lines just get cheesier and cheesier, don't they?

J: I try.

(thuds and yelps)

J: Hey, that _hurt!_

L: Just be thanking the Lord that Potions textbooks don't have hardcover editions.

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_Sixth year_

L: I'm happy that Gryffindor won the Quidditch Cup and all, but don't think I'm happy enough to accept when you ask me out, Potter.

J: Wow, you shot me down in a comparatively friendly way! We should win the Cup more often.

L: Yes, well done about that. You played very well.

J: (amazed) But you hate me! Why are you complimenting me?

L: No, hate is a very strong word. You just annoy the hell out of me. But anyway, I give credit where credit is due. And you _really_ need to learn how to take a compliment.

J: (smiles sheepishly) Thanks. Anyway, I wanted to talk to you about something. And you seem particularly receptive now, so...

L: Shoot.

J: (confused) What?

L: I mean, go ahead.

J: Okay. Well, you see my friend over there? (points to Sirius who waves sheepishly from afar) Well, he wants to know if you think I'm cute.

L: (laughs) That's actually kind of cute. Your taste in pick-up lines is definitely improving.

J: (hopefully) So do you? Think I'm cute, I mean. (adds hastily) 'Cause Sirius honestly wants to know.

L: (ruffles his hair) I think you're a demented, infectious, three-legged pony. (walks off)

J: (yells after her) That's a compliment, right? Right? (to himself) I'm never going to wash this hair again. Ew, no, on second thought I think I will.

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_Seventh year_

J: Hi Lily.

L: Hi James! Have you finished writing up that roster for the prefects? That's what you wanted to talk about, right?

J: (looks flustered) Well, I have finished writing the roster, but that's not what I wanted to talk to you about. (regains composure) Want to buy me a Butterbeer? I'm out of money at the moment.

L: What? Sorry, James, I think it's the other way around. _You're_ the one who's meant to buy _me _a Butterbeer.

J: Okay.

L: Okay what?

J: Okay, I'll buy you a Butterbeer.

L: (suspicious) Wait, I thought you said you were out of money.

J: (smiles) Ah, but when a beautiful girl like you asks a guy like me out for Butterbeer, how can I refuse? I'll manage to get money from somewhere.

L: (shocked)

L: (starts to smile) That is possibly the most devious pick-up line ever invented.

J: (nervous) So is that a yes then?

L: No, sorry, James – I'm busy.

J: (crestfallen) Oh. Okay. No problem.

L: I was wondering, could you do me a favour?

J: Sure, I guess.

L: (holds out hand) Could you hold this for me while I go to Hogsmeade?

J: ...

L: Don't exert yourself too much, though. You must be tired from running through my mind all day.

J: ...

L: Oh, and just so Sirius knows, I think you're very cute.

J: ...

L: Well, are you coming? I believe you owe me a Butterbeer.

J: (smiles and takes her hand) I believe so.

L: (sighs in exasperation) Do I have to say the lips pick-up line as well?

J: Huh?

L: James, your lips look very, _very _lonely.

J: Oh.

(silence)

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**A/N:** So how was that? Please review with any comments and criticism!


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